The other day I was walking through the mall and was suddenly confronted by one of the oldest questions that has plagued mankind: Escalator or Elevator? Now before you hastily pass judgement on the irrelevancy of the aforementioned quandary, let us weigh out the pros and cons of each.
- If an elevator breaks, you are stuck. If an escalator breaks, you have stairs. Advantage: Escalator
- Nobody's mother ever made up stories about some kid who played around in an elevator and got their foot ripped off. Advantage Elevator
- No jerk at the bottom of the escalator can pretend not to see you and let door close. Advantage Escalator
- An awesome fart is pretty much wasted on an escalator. Advantage Elevator
- Nobody can push all the buttons on an escalator and then run. Advantage Escalator
- Nobody fantasizes about hitting the stop button on an escalator and making wild, passionate love with a total stranger. Advantage Elevator
- Walking while already on an escalator gives to the feeling of "super speed". (especially the flat ones in airports) Advantage Escalator
- What is it that all people who are getting in line to go up to heaven ride on? Advantage Escalator And the winner is: ESCALATOR!
Okay here is your homework. The next time you are in an elevator and the doors close yell, "Don't panic! Everyone stay calm. They will open back up!" and The next time you see an escalator, walk on it in the opposite direction and when people give you that dirty look, just say, "This isn't the gym?" As always, I hope that this will give you the knowledge to live a richer and fuller life.
No comments:
Post a Comment