Ladies and gentlemen,
In the center ring, I present to you: "The Battle of Words that Almost sound the Same". In one corner: Emus (a large Australian bird) and in the other: Emos (a needy teenager). Let's break down the match up.
- Emus have talons which they use to attack other animals. Emos have small knives and razor blades which they use to cut themselves. Advantage: Emos
- Emus are nomadic and roam the countryside looking for any and all food. Emos roam from mall to mall looking for any and all attention. Advantage: Emus
- Male Emus make a grunting sound like a pig and females make a loud booming sound. Emos only make a particular whiny sound: lifsux, lifsux, lifsux. Advantage Emus
- Emus are the second largest bird in the world after the ostrich. Emos are the second weirdest people in school after the goth. Advantage: Push
- Emus are flightless birds. Emos are jobless people. But they can get a haircut and change their clothes. Advantage: Emos
- Emus are solitary creatures, but when they do flock, they just all gather where food is. Emos, too, are solitary creatures, but when they flock, it is to hang at the food court. Advantage: Emus
Winner: Emus
Did you think it would go any other way? Really.
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