Weathermen vs. Porn Stars

Okay, as you can tell from the title, I have chosen to speak on a topic that immediately invokes the issues of decency, morality and ethics. But I find the more you talk openly about a subject the more you can first truly understand it and then judge the hell out of it. So here goes: I hate weathermen.

But to be fair, let’s break down the details by comparing them to another one of life’s bad career decisions, porn stars.

• You don’t have to wait a day to see if the porn star did his job right. Winner: Porn Star


• You don’t make a weather report more interesting by adding more people to the broadcast. You just make it more crowded. Winner: Weatherman


• You don’t have to keep coming up with new fake technology to make people watch porn. “With Super Doppler 5000, we can give you the exact weather right down to your street!” Well so can I … by looking out the window. Winner: Porn Star


• Weathermen can honestly answer the question, “What do you do for a living?” Winner: Weatherman


• Porn stars don’t try and make their job seem more important by calling themselves fornicalogists. Winner: Porn Star


• Weathermen don’t make me feel inadequate. I mean … a friend of mine. Anyway … Winner: Weatherman


• Pornos don’t have to be certified by some bogus society to make them appear more legit. Winner Porn Star


• The Weather Channel is on my hotel TV 24 hours a day for FREE! Winner: Weatherman


• They have never interrupted my favorite TV show to show me, “A developing porn situation”. Although, I bet the chance of surprise porn would triple ratings. I’m looking at you NBC. Winner: Porn Star


• Which is worst, fake porn names or fake weatherman names. How seriously can you expect us to take you, when you have to use a fake name that consists of things that are in your job? Winner: Porn Star

And the winner is: Porn Star.

I always try and give you a solution to the aforementioned problem. But not this time. So instead, I give you a little light-hearted fun you can have at your next party. You can play the game: What would my porn name or weatherman name be. This is how is works:

Your porn name: Your middle name + the street you live on. If you don;t have a middle name ... well blame your parents. I mean really, who doesn't give their child a middle name? But for this game you automatically get Steele (guys) and Busty (girls). Mine would be, Roger Copernicus!

Your weatherman name: The city you live in + the plural form of any weather occurrence. BUT, you can’t have more than 3 syllables. So if you live in a city that has 3 or more syllables, you have to come up with some cool nickname for that city. For example, Jacksonville would be J’ville. Mine would be, Raleigh Rains!

Since I know this didn't make you wiser or enrich your life, I will just hope it made you laugh.