Sunday, January 29, 2012

The Strange Order of Things

Ever since we were all little kids, we have been taught to watch our hands after we go to the potty. So the other day after I went tinkle, I started washing my hands as usual and I started to think: "Wouldn't it make more sense to wash my hands BEFORE I went pee pee."

Think about it. I know that "Lil Rob" took a shower this morning with plenty of hot water and soap and then has spent the day comfortably resting in total isolation in his 100% cotton brief home. On the other hand, my hands have had to deal with three children, a dog, the dishes, the trash and any other assortment of potential bacterial nightmares. In fact, if "Lil Rob" didn't spend a large majority of his day focused on trying to accomplish one very specific activity (regardless of how small the odds), I would argue that he would demand that my hands wash themselves before diving in there and "taking him for a walkiez".

Well, as you know, I am not just about reporting the facts, I am about getting you the answers. I therefore encourage you to join my new organization PETG (People for the Ethical Treatment of Genitalia) as we start a change in the way America goes to the restroom. The Golden Rule: Wash your hands BEFORE and AFTER you go potty. That way "Lil Rob" and others will receive the fair treatment they so richly deserve.

As always, I hope that this has been informative, possibly entertaining and at least has made your life richer for the experience.

Good night and God bless.