With the rapid approach of the gift giving holidays, I felt it was time to speak out against the senseless shaking of gifts. How did we, as a society, decide that this was the accepted form of gift deduction? And why do we feel the need to guess what the present is anyway? If you do guess correctly, you don't get a bonus present.
In reality, all you do is piss off the person that gave you the gift. He or she go to all the trouble of picking out the perfect gift, wrapping it just so and giving it to you and you return the favor by grabbing it, shaking it vigorously and then telling them what it is. Thanks. Personally, I believe this is the #1 reason for the proliferation of gift cards in small gift bags. Ya, try and shake that Jerk!
More importantly, it is a good thing that this barbaric practice has been limited to giving of gifts. Think of the ramifications if we used this method to guess everything. "Congratulations Mrs. Smith you have a beautilful baby ... SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE ... boy?"
In this age of tiny, expensive electronic devices, we must stop this insane practice. I suggest that the next time you encounter a "Gift Shaking Nostradamus", wait until they make their guess, then yell "WRONG!" as you quickly grab the gift out of their hands. You than get to keep the gift. This will make them think twice about the next gift if there is suddenly the risk of losing the present for an incorrect guess.
As always, I hope this will allow you to live a fuller, richer life.
